Critical Points

Critical points. We all have them in our lives. These are points in our lives that shape who and what we are. They change our lives forever. Sometimes the change is good. Sometimes the change is bad.

Why do I talk about this? Psychiatrists say that sometimes the quickest way to heal is to talk about it. Now I'll admit that I'm not planning on advertising this post, but writing this down I think will help me feel better.

I've had several of these critical points in my life. Some I was able to do the right thing. Others, I was not. Still others I did what I though was right at the time, but looking back, I have to wonder if I did the right thing or not.

My marriage was one such critical point. It was one of the ones that I did right. Join the Navy was another right point.

There was another point that has left me wondering if I did the right thing or not. My choices were to do what I thought was the right thing or to give in to what others wanted me to do in order to further my career. I was still in the Navy at this point. I wanted to advance in rank. I was willing to work at it. I wasn't willing to sacrifice who I was. I couldn't be not me. I wanted to be able to look in to the mirror and be proud of who I was, but the question haunts me to this day.... Did I do the right thing?

Because I couldn't be someone other than myself, I was doomed never to advance in rank from the rank I was at. That critical point ended up being my only chance to advance in rank. Had I done what they wanted, I'm sure that I would have advanced.

I'm not the kind of person who yells at people when they mess up. That's normally not me. If I'm yelling, then you REALLY messed up! I'm more the type of person who will talk to you to see why you messed up in the first place. That's not what my Chain of Command wanted from me. They wanted me to be more of the hard ass. More of the bad cop than the good one.

I'm also not the type who will go running to the superiors every time someone makes a mistake. I'll fix it the best I can and if I can't, then I don't have a choice but to tell someone above me to have them fix it. My Chain of Command didn't like that either. They wanted me to be a tattle tail. They wanted to have direct control of those junior to me, but that's not the way it's supposed to work. They got mad at me once because I fixed an issue without letting them do it. It was my job to fix the issue, but they wouldn't have any of that.

Their issue was totally related to trust issues. That is, they didn't trust any of us in the office. It's not an easy working relationship when you don't trust anyone.

As I write this, I'm feeling regret. A part of me just wishes I would have just done what they wanted in order to advance my career. Chief Meyer would have been nice to be called. And yet another part is proud of the fact that I didn't give in. That I had enough will power to be who I was in the face of adversary. Sure, I would have loved to advance in rank, but at what cost? I would have lost the good person I am and would have replaced him with someone that NO ONE would want to work for. In that, I am more proud of myself.

Men Rules

Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.... Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note.. These are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST and FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.